Anti-social Ponderer Gifts

Learning to read body language, lesson one: 'Leave me alone!'

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Needs to get a life"

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

Johnny and Moloch

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

Well at least we can handle these rocks.

'You will eventually discover that all women are the same. The only difference is how deep you have to go before you see the pixels.'

'You're right, Mr, Haskins, those were extremely 'normal' word associations. Now let's try it without the thesaurus.'

Meet Larry; tenor, baritone, philosopher, social commentator, sport analyst, political expert, relationship expert … and A+ certified plumber.

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'Of course working in a 'Virtual Firm' does have it's drawbacks...'

"One thing I'll say for us, Meyer--we never stooped to popularizing science."

Bertrand Russell

Mountains and Molehills

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

'My Atheist blog has developed a cult following. If that's not ironic, I don't know what is.'

Deep intellectual thoughts, but not enough common sense to keep from falling off a wall

"She also sits up there so she doesn't have to talk to anyone."

Do you have a problem?. . . Continue on as usual.

"Oh, no! Here comes a guy on a motorcycle! Should I give him the 'low wave'? Is the 'high wave' too effeminate? Am I allowed to wave if I'm on a scooter? What if I wave and he ignores me?! This is bad..."

'They all look alike to me.'

Man excluded from a group of other men.

Pied Piper leading youths away with ghetto-blaster.

"The only thing I've learned from my mistakes is that apparently I'll keep making them."

Man fishing in a tin of fish

"I'm having a really hard time adjusting to a completely unprecedented set of things to complain about,"

"I react mindlessly, therefore I am."

"The Johnsons tend to keep themselves to themselves..."

"Is everyone having fun without me? Noooo, that's absurd."

Problem. . . Appropriate Amount Of Worry. . . Extra Worry Just To Be Sure. . . Even More Worry Days After Problem Forgotten About.

"That explains your percentage of bat DNA."