Anti-social Media Strategist Gifts

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Likes: $2.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"#Win!"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Under new blame.

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

Coronavirus Windmills

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

Technology and Love

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"I say we downsize the company to the five of us and see if we can isolate the problem then."

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"