Anti-smoking-law-humorist Gifts

Parade smoking section.

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

'And so 'Your Honor'... if that really is your name...'

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

"The bad news is my doctor limited me to one glass of wine per day. The good news is I get to pick the glass."

'I can't remember. Are you my lawyer, or am I yours?'

'Costwise, are we thinking Kavanagh QL or Rumpole?'

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"I wasn't texting or eating and there's no law saying I can't juggle."

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

'We need our lawyers to perform CPR on this group...Confuse, Perplex and Rattle.'

Cigarettes $7.50 - Ask About Our Easy Payment Plan.

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

'Oh yeah? Well, Murphy's law doesn't apply here.'