Smoking Ban Jokester Gifts

'Hey! This is the nonsmoking cage.'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

"Sentencing...my gut feeling is disembowelment...but my head says decapitation."

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

"The bad news is my doctor limited me to one glass of wine per day. The good news is I get to pick the glass."

'I'm only doing pro-bono cases until I can find some well-paying anti-bono cases.'

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

No Goldfishing. A-hem!

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

Cigarettes $7.50 - Ask About Our Easy Payment Plan.

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

Punch has a smoking break.

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"After all, it is a frivolous lawsuit..."

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

'Aren't we entitled to a ten minute smoking break?'

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

"Sorry, sir, our smoking section is out in the parking lot. We'll be happy to serve you out there."

"You should have mentioned in your resume that you could only do it once."

'The ones who smoke, masturbate... the ones who don't smoke, masturbate... is this a study on smoking or masturbation?'

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

"See? Right there - it says bubblegum."