Anti-smoking-law-humorist Pillows

Parade smoking section.

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"I forget the difference - is this a crocodile or a litigator?"

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

'And so 'Your Honor'... if that really is your name...'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

"The bad news is my doctor limited me to one glass of wine per day. The good news is I get to pick the glass."

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

News and Magazines. Legal News. A defendant was freed by a loophole in a law. The statute of liberty.

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

'I can't remember. Are you my lawyer, or am I yours?'

'Costwise, are we thinking Kavanagh QL or Rumpole?'

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'We need our lawyers to perform CPR on this group...Confuse, Perplex and Rattle.'

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

Cigarettes $7.50 - Ask About Our Easy Payment Plan.

"I wasn't texting or eating and there's no law saying I can't juggle."

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'