Animal Husbandry Humor Gifts

"I can't afford to feed you."

"Do me next."

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

Hats and Food

Snowmobull

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Scuba cow"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Of Mice and Men.

No jay walking.

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."