Animal Parenting Humorist Gifts

"Courtney: Raised by hamsters"

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'Jurassic Pork.'

Hats and Food

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"Scuba cow"

"Yes, one is a dog."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."