Pet Parent With Humor Gifts

"Is our owner hot?"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Conversation between Dogs.

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

Good, but not Great Danes.

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"You stop it, now!"

'Good book?'

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Bad Dog

"Tonight I'm going to bury this sucker so far underground he'll never find it."

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

'I tried to teach him to shake, but he'd rather do 'high fives'.'

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

'Tell you what. Let's corner a cat and play 'good dog - bad dog'.'

"Quick, act casual."

Ideas that failed: Seeing Eye Chickens

'And in a landslide, the winner of the 'Waking Up Your Owner' race...'