Pet Parents With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

'What are you doing with that toilet?! I drink out of there!'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"My master gave me this after he got it off his ankle."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Conversation between Dogs.

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Good, but not Great Danes.

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"You stop it, now!"

'Good book?'

"Is our owner hot?"

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

'We really should get him chipped.'

Goldie playing chess. Check.

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

'And when you want to go to the toilet would you please bark.'

Tinder for dogs

'Tell you what. Let's corner a cat and play 'good dog - bad dog'.'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

"He's my discomfort animal."

"You will be going on a long walk."

Mouse guillotining cats paws which come through his mouse hole

'Of course I never take you out - I can't see you wanting to cock your leg in the park!'

Now Wash Your Paws

"The good news is you can return that kitty litter to the store and buy yourself something pretty..."