Pet Parents With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'What are you doing with that toilet?! I drink out of there!'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"My master gave me this after he got it off his ankle."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Conversation between Dogs.

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Cat and mouse.

Good, but not Great Danes.

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

'I hate surprises!'

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

'Good book?'

"You stop it, now!"

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"Is our owner hot?"

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

Goldie playing chess. Check.

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

'We really should get him chipped.'

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

Tinder for dogs

'Tell you what. Let's corner a cat and play 'good dog - bad dog'.'

"He's my discomfort animal."

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'And when you want to go to the toilet would you please bark.'

"You will be going on a long walk."

Mouse guillotining cats paws which come through his mouse hole

"Our flying monkeys really seem to be hitting it off."

'You're looking well - you been on holiday?'