Pet Parents Who Love A Laugh Pillows

'The great flea vs. tick territorial wars.'

Dog Heaven: 'What I like best about this place is we can be on both sides of the door at the same time.'

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Spot Quiz....

Cat and mouse.

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Good, but not Great Danes.

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

'I hate surprises!'

Cat Romance

"You stop it, now!"

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

Dog at a restaurant

'Mommy didn't bring a stick. Boo Boo want to fetch a lipstick?'

"Is our owner hot?"

'Bone appetit!'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

Goldie playing chess. Check.

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

"You're positive no one will be able to tell the difference?"

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

Brass Band

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

'Well, it wasn't me.'

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'