Pet Parents Who Love A Laugh Pillows

'The great flea vs. tick territorial wars.'

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

Spot Quiz....

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

Good, but not Great Danes.

"You stop it, now!"

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

Cat Romance

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

Dog at a restaurant

"Is our owner hot?"

'Mommy didn't bring a stick. Boo Boo want to fetch a lipstick?'

'Bone appetit!'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

Goldie playing chess. Check.

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

Brass Band

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

'Tell you what. Let's corner a cat and play 'good dog - bad dog'.'

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'