Humorous Pet Parents Pillows

'And when you want to go to the toilet would you please bark.'

Tinder for dogs

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

Conversation between Dogs.

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Good, but not Great Danes.

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

"You stop it, now!"

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."

"Is our owner hot?"

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

'I tried to teach him to shake, but he'd rather do 'high fives'.'

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

"Quick, act casual."

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

'Pet, we've got to talk.'

'Tell you what. Let's corner a cat and play 'good dog - bad dog'.'

"I think, therefore I am going to chew her new shoes."

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory?'

Mouse guillotining cats paws which come through his mouse hole

"Honey! The puppy just placed a new water element on the floor. Do you want me to clean it up or just balance the Feng Shui with a fire element?"

'Of course I never take you out - I can't see you wanting to cock your leg in the park!'

101 uses of a dead cat: wind vane.

"The good news is you can return that kitty litter to the store and buy yourself something pretty..."