Funny Pet Parent Pillows

'Pet, we've got to talk.'

He won't sit, but he heels well.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

Lucky has an 'out-of-potty' experience.

The Most Interesting Dog in the World. . .

"It's only the wind."

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

'Dogs have more charisma but cats have more electricity.'

"Is our owner hot?"

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

"When I said you could use other materials with the sand, I was thinking shells and driftwood."

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

Non-working dog, please help

Snow cones.

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

'We're not playing hide and seek. I'm just trying to find Marm to take him to the vet.'

Teacher's pet. 'For an inner city comprehensive.'

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

"When you adopt a dog from a rescue centre you never know what bad habits they might have."

Debug

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

Cats and boxes...BOXES!

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'