Funny Pet Parent Gifts

'Pet, we've got to talk.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

"It's only the wind."

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

"When I said you could use other materials with the sand, I was thinking shells and driftwood."

"Is our owner hot?"

'Dogs have more charisma but cats have more electricity.'

Non-working dog, please help

"When you adopt a dog from a rescue centre you never know what bad habits they might have."

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

Teacher's pet. 'For an inner city comprehensive.'

'We're not playing hide and seek. I'm just trying to find Marm to take him to the vet.'

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

Debug

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

Cats and boxes...BOXES!

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'