Pet Parent Jokester Gifts

Crocodile House

Conversation between Dogs.

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

Good, but not Great Danes.

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

"Is our owner hot?"

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

'I tried to teach him to shake, but he'd rather do 'high fives'.'

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

'Pet, we've got to talk.'

Tinder for dogs

'And when you want to go to the toilet would you please bark.'

"Quick, act casual."

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory?'

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

"The good news is you can return that kitty litter to the store and buy yourself something pretty..."

"Honey! The puppy just placed a new water element on the floor. Do you want me to clean it up or just balance the Feng Shui with a fire element?"

'Of course I never take you out - I can't see you wanting to cock your leg in the park!'

Woman in bunny slippers notices rabbit droppings.

Now Wash Your Paws

'Sandra missed school today because of this appointment. Will you please write an excuse note for her?"

"Are you trying to get me nicked."