Pet Parenting Humor Gifts

'Hey! What happened to my chili?'

"It get it – you're hungry."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

Conversation between Dogs.

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Cat at Surprise Party.

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

Good, but not Great Danes.

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'No need to shout.'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

"Is our owner hot?"

Parrot annoying dog.

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Polly want a cracker?

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

"Let's see, who had the canary?"