Pet Parenting Humor Gifts

'Hey! What happened to my chili?'

"It get it – you're hungry."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Blind man walking a tortoise.

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Conversation between Dogs.

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Cat at Surprise Party.

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

Good, but not Great Danes.

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'No need to shout.'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

"Is our owner hot?"

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

Parrot annoying dog.

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Polly want a cracker?

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

"It's OK! Stop splashing!"

'Let's see what's going on in the mouse house.'

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

"Let's see, who had the canary?"