Comical Pet Parent Pillows

"Goldie left to live upstate on a fish farm."

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Conversation between Dogs.

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

Good, but not Great Danes.

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

"It's only the wind."

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"Is our owner hot?"

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Non-working dog, please help

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

'I tried to teach him to shake, but he'd rather do 'high fives'.'

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

Tinder for dogs

"Quick, act casual."

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

'And when you want to go to the toilet would you please bark.'

'Pet, we've got to talk.'

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory?'

Now Wash Your Paws

"Honey! The puppy just placed a new water element on the floor. Do you want me to clean it up or just balance the Feng Shui with a fire element?"

'Sandra missed school today because of this appointment. Will you please write an excuse note for her?"

"The good news is you can return that kitty litter to the store and buy yourself something pretty..."

Woman in bunny slippers notices rabbit droppings.

'Of course I never take you out - I can't see you wanting to cock your leg in the park!'