Comical Pet Parent Pillows

"Goldie left to live upstate on a fish farm."

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

Conversation between Dogs.

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Good, but not Great Danes.

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

"It's only the wind."

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

"Is our owner hot?"

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Non-working dog, please help

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

'I tried to teach him to shake, but he'd rather do 'high fives'.'

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

"Quick, act casual."

Tinder for dogs

'Pet, we've got to talk.'

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

'And when you want to go to the toilet would you please bark.'

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory?'

Now Wash Your Paws

'Sandra missed school today because of this appointment. Will you please write an excuse note for her?"

'Of course I never take you out - I can't see you wanting to cock your leg in the park!'

Woman in bunny slippers notices rabbit droppings.

"Honey! The puppy just placed a new water element on the floor. Do you want me to clean it up or just balance the Feng Shui with a fire element?"