Animal Humour Gifts

"How can you just sit there, wrapped in your own safe little world, when you know there are millions of squirrels out there?"

"Do me next."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Scuba cow"

Snowmobull

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'Jurassic Pork.'

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"Yes, one is a dog."

Hats and Food

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Dog wearing a cone

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'