Animal Humour Pillows

"How can you just sit there, wrapped in your own safe little world, when you know there are millions of squirrels out there?"

"Do me next."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

Hats and Food

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Scuba cow"

Snowmobull

"Yes, one is a dog."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Dog wearing a cone

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'