Dog Humor Pillows

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

Dog wearing a cone

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"Do me next."

"It get it – you're hungry."

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Shake! Good Dog."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Snowmobull

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Of Mice and Men.

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Honk if you love me!"

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.