Animal Humor Gifts

"Are they still following us?"

'Have you considered Botox?'

"You'll have to phrase it another way. They have no word for 'fetch.' "

Cat laughing at dog having to go outside in the rain to go to the toilet.

'You're not just a polar bear - you're a bi-polar bear.'

Chicken's playing snooker with eggs,

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

A Great Dane in the throes of furious activity.

"Come on. If you sell beer, you must sell peanuts."

'They feed me and they let me in and out, but those are the only two tricks they know.'

"Come on now. One of you guys know how to be a SETTER."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'Not tonight, Deer, I have a headache.'

Little Dog Barking at a Large Dog

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"I hope he doesn't hear me sizzling."

'They use it to make Swiss cheese. It's called hole milk.'

A cross between a Beagle and a Cocker Spaniel (a little cross between two dogs)

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

'... A raccoon, sure, even a skunk would be ok, but the cat?'

'It's just until he stops biting himself over there.'

Penny got carpal tunnel, and had to hunt and peck.

"They said my barking was becoming inflammatory."

Parrot: 'Don't put your finger in there, he bites!'

'...Well it just started with a bit of harmless bottom sniffing and then one thing led to another.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"See, I told you there had to be a nest of them."

"He's normally not affectionate, but he has really taken a liking to you!2

'You can't hurt his feelings ? at least pretend to eat it.'

JEEZ! Who the hell is drawing you?

'By golly, Henrietta, I think we've got ourselves a prodigy!'

"I had no alternative Mr. Prendergast. Your daughter fell and broke her leg."

'I traded mine in for a bicycle helmet!'

Succeed.

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'