Animal Herder Gifts

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

New Guy.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Sheep Ledger

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"They’re real."

Pull the udder one

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

You must un-learn bowel control!

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Farmer Christmas.

"And when someone gets your goat, what do you suppose it is that keeps you from going and getting it back?"

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

World of Cow.

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."