Animal Herder Gifts

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

New Guy.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"They’re real."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

Sheep Ledger

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Pull the udder one

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

You must un-learn bowel control!

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

Farmer Christmas.

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

World of Cow.

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

"And when someone gets your goat, what do you suppose it is that keeps you from going and getting it back?"

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'