Animal Banter Lover Gifts

'I know, I know. You're stripes. I get it, already.'

Faster, Georges, faster!

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Ever eat a bird?"

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Rogue elephant

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

'Scary movie?'

I loved Venice: So many statues to perch upon and people to feed you...

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Yeah, the carrot helps, but coffee is what gets me going in the morning...'

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

Hog Futures

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Swine flu

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

"To be honest, it just collects dust."