Animal Talk Enthusiast Gifts

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"Ever eat a bird?"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"Another slander suit!"

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"Actually I never loved you."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

"... and the fact that I ain't never caught a rabbit should have no bearing on our friendship."

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

"I started out eating homework. Now I shred documents."

"It's not the walking — it's the waiting."

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak!...'

'Do you know something? If I couldn't eat, I would just die!'

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

Barking as a Second Language.

"Yes, he does speak, but only on condition of anonymity."

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"BOL means Barking Out Loud."

"Your work's fine, it's your break time I want to talk to you about."

"I could have been man's best friend but who needs the pressure."

"How are we supposed to know what's bothering him when we don't speak bark?"

"Yeah, I tried beaver once too, but I didn't like the woody after-taste..."

"Are we talking about life style or orientation?"

"I'm for universal coverage but not for cats."

'If provoked - his remarks can be scathing.'

I've been wanting to introduce you to Herbert for months. I didn't want to scare you. Don't be silly. So what if I've discovered my girlfriend has secretly raised a talking gerbil she pampers, gives back rubs to, and debates international politics with. What's so strange about that? So you're good with it. Get me Dr. Phil.

"Other end, Steve. We've already met."

'Well, I know the moon is closer.'