Animal Speaking Aficionado Gifts

"Your work's fine, it's your break time I want to talk to you about."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Ever eat a bird?"

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

"Another slander suit!"

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"Actually I never loved you."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

"I started out eating homework. Now I shred documents."

Balding dog

Dog-English dictionary.

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak!...'

Barking as a Second Language.

"Yes, he does speak, but only on condition of anonymity."

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"BOL means Barking Out Loud."

"I could have been man's best friend but who needs the pressure."

"How are we supposed to know what's bothering him when we don't speak bark?"

"I'm for universal coverage but not for cats."

"Yeah, I tried beaver once too, but I didn't like the woody after-taste..."

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

'If provoked - his remarks can be scathing.'

'Well, I know the moon is closer.'

"You taught me to speak, and now that I'm talking to you, you're all freaked out."

Dog dictionary/Dog Alphabet.

'Look at that crazy cowboy, Butch, he's talking to his horse!'

'You're right - he's trying to communicate.'

"At the time of the incident, I was employed in the Dunbar house as a pet."

Catsplaining: Actually, Jerry, cats need to eat seven times a day to stay healthy

'Call me that one more time and you can find yourself another doctor!'

"Here comes crazy old cousin Harriett, who scratches in all the wrong spots."

'I can forgive you, Nichole - but I can never forget.'