Animal Conversation Enthusiast Gifts

'Look at that crazy cowboy, Butch, he's talking to his horse!'

"I could have been man's best friend but who needs the pressure."

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"Hey, a meat truck! Let’s go after it!" "Nah. My owner’s a lawyer. I only chase ambulances." "Oooh."

"Ever eat a bird?"

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

"Actually I never loved you."

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

"... and the fact that I ain't never caught a rabbit should have no bearing on our friendship."

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

"It's not the walking — it's the waiting."

"I started out eating homework. Now I shred documents."

'Oh, I'm not looking for Gold, I'm checking for bear-traps...'

'Do you know something? If I couldn't eat, I would just die!'

"Yes, he does speak, but only on condition of anonymity."

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"BOL means Barking Out Loud."

"Your work's fine, it's your break time I want to talk to you about."

"Speaking personally, I haven't had my day, and I've never met any dog who has."

"How are we supposed to know what's bothering him when we don't speak bark?"

"Are we talking about life style or orientation?"

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

'I know, I know. You're stripes. I get it, already.'

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

"Other end, Steve. We've already met."

I've been wanting to introduce you to Herbert for months. I didn't want to scare you. Don't be silly. So what if I've discovered my girlfriend has secretly raised a talking gerbil she pampers, gives back rubs to, and debates international politics with. What's so strange about that? So you're good with it. Get me Dr. Phil.

Well, he's bought himself a new car with a "new car smell" of plastic fumes, so no, I'm not keen on going on car rides right now...

"I don’t know, Taylor – it seems to me, anyone who doesn’t talk to their dog is crazy."

'Is it true what they say'