Canine Conversation Enthusiast Gifts

If dogs could talk

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"Another slander suit!"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

If dogs were psychiatrists.

Dog and man on couch

"I'd love to stay and chat but I just heard a silent dog whistle."

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"I can remember when he used to try to tell us things."

"The way I see it, microchipping is an invasion of our privacy!"

"Really? Everyone we hang out with we also met through our puppies."

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

Their flirtation ground to a halt when she heard his dog-talking voice.

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

Dog-English dictionary.

"No, I've never liked chasing sticks. I though you enjoyed throwing them."