Canine Conversation Enthusiast Pillows

If dogs could talk

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"Another slander suit!"

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"I'd love to stay and chat but I just heard a silent dog whistle."

"Really? Everyone we hang out with we also met through our puppies."

"The way I see it, microchipping is an invasion of our privacy!"

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

Dog and man on couch

"I can remember when he used to try to tell us things."

"My Instagram feed is basically people, dog food and tennis balls."

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

Their flirtation ground to a halt when she heard his dog-talking voice.

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

Dog-English dictionary.