Canine Chatter Enthusiast Pillows

'I always bark for no reason whatever.'

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'I'm asking for a transfer to California because that's where you get the really good stuff.'

"I started out eating homework. Now I shred documents."

Their flirtation ground to a halt when she heard his dog-talking voice.

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak!...'

"You are sooooo 'grazed!'"

"I can tell he likes me because he keeps butt-dialing me."

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"BOL means Barking Out Loud."

"I could have been man's best friend but who needs the pressure."

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"The Over-Sharing Economy"

"Are we talking about life style or orientation?"

'I know, I know. You're stripes. I get it, already.'

Well, he's bought himself a new car with a "new car smell" of plastic fumes, so no, I'm not keen on going on car rides right now...

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

'I'm pretty sure she's talking to you - yes, you!'

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

Wordplay 11. Repetition & on & on & on. . .

"If I hear 'Who's my widdle snoogie woogums' one more time I think I'm gonna snap."

"With Gloria, it's in one ear and out the mouth."

"I don’t know, Taylor – it seems to me, anyone who doesn’t talk to their dog is crazy."

"Are we sure he's the alpha?"

'Look at that crazy cowboy, Butch, he's talking to his horse!'

parrot can't stand small squawk

"The people upstairs are talking about us. We should bark them another opera."

"If you could spend an hour with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"

7th Monkey Business Conference: 'Thanks, but I don't need the microphone: I'm a howler monkey...'