Canine Chatter Enthusiast Pillows

'I always bark for no reason whatever.'

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

Sure, he can talk already, but it's all just psychobabble.

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

Their flirtation ground to a halt when she heard his dog-talking voice.

"I started out eating homework. Now I shred documents."

'I'm asking for a transfer to California because that's where you get the really good stuff.'

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak!...'

"You are sooooo 'grazed!'"

"I can tell he likes me because he keeps butt-dialing me."

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

"BOL means Barking Out Loud."

"I could have been man's best friend but who needs the pressure."

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"The Over-Sharing Economy"

"Are we talking about life style or orientation?"

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

'I know, I know. You're stripes. I get it, already.'

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

Wordplay 11. Repetition & on & on & on. . .

'I'm pretty sure she's talking to you - yes, you!'

Well, he's bought himself a new car with a "new car smell" of plastic fumes, so no, I'm not keen on going on car rides right now...

"If I hear 'Who's my widdle snoogie woogums' one more time I think I'm gonna snap."

"Are we sure he's the alpha?"

"I don’t know, Taylor – it seems to me, anyone who doesn’t talk to their dog is crazy."

"With Gloria, it's in one ear and out the mouth."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

'Look at that crazy cowboy, Butch, he's talking to his horse!'

parrot can't stand small squawk

7th Monkey Business Conference: 'Thanks, but I don't need the microphone: I'm a howler monkey...'

"If you could spend an hour with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"