Animal Chatter Pillows

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

"You are sooooo 'grazed!'"

'What did you get him?'

'All I'm saying is-it sounded more like you said 'cheap date' on my answering machine...'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"I've used the "Call of the Wild" excuse to escape for a few days: my mother-in-law is visiting..."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

ONE HORSE TOWN

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

"You know what the Serengeti lacks?—Decent deserts."

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

Bertie Wooster type teaching a parrot to talk

'I'm asking for a transfer to California because that's where you get the really good stuff.'

Their flirtation ground to a halt when she heard his dog-talking voice.

'Sorry, what was that?'

"A few years ago they didn't even have a category for talking dogs."

"I can tell he likes me because he keeps butt-dialing me."

"So, sniffed any interesting butts lately?"

"BOL means Barking Out Loud."

"Speaking personally, I haven't had my day, and I've never met any dog who has."

'It tears me up when he's had a hard day at work!'

'Sparky's amazing ability to speak to humans betrays him...'

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

"What do you think of the new feed?"

That's right: Not only are we 'Man's best friend', but a lot of people are allergic to cats...

"We had him neutered,"

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

"People are O.K., but I prefer little pieces of string."