Animal Chatter Prints

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

"You are sooooo 'grazed!'"

'What did you get him?'

'All I'm saying is-it sounded more like you said 'cheap date' on my answering machine...'

'I drink to forget.' 'Forget what?' 'I don't remember.'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"I've used the "Call of the Wild" excuse to escape for a few days: my mother-in-law is visiting..."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

ONE HORSE TOWN

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"You know what the Serengeti lacks?—Decent deserts."

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

Their flirtation ground to a halt when she heard his dog-talking voice.

Bertie Wooster type teaching a parrot to talk

'I'm asking for a transfer to California because that's where you get the really good stuff.'

'Sorry, what was that?'

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

"So, sniffed any interesting butts lately?"

A doctor without borders meets a free range chicken.

"I can tell he likes me because he keeps butt-dialing me."

"A few years ago they didn't even have a category for talking dogs."

"BOL means Barking Out Loud."

'It tears me up when he's had a hard day at work!'

"Speaking personally, I haven't had my day, and I've never met any dog who has."

"We had him neutered,"

That's right: Not only are we 'Man's best friend', but a lot of people are allergic to cats...

"What do you think of the new feed?"

'Sparky's amazing ability to speak to humans betrays him...'