Animal Lover Laughs Gifts

"Can I order off the menu?"

'Long way down huh? Just thinking about it makes me queasy...Course if I knew there were some sugar cubes waiting for me back at the ranch, that might help settle me down.'

Cattery and kennels

Faster, Georges, faster!

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Scary movie?'

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

I loved Venice: So many statues to perch upon and people to feed you...

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

Hog Futures

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Fowl!'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'Is the dead mouse played with before it's prepared?'

"Hello, my Baby! Hello, my Sweetie! Hello, my Ragtime Gal..."

Working from Home

"I've never known a child like him. He's always finding things."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"I've always been a big Otis Redding fan."

Balding dog

The Electricians Giraffe Aid

Hamlet, the Mouse Version.