Animal Lover Laughs Gifts

"Can I order off the menu?"

'Long way down huh? Just thinking about it makes me queasy...Course if I knew there were some sugar cubes waiting for me back at the ranch, that might help settle me down.'

Cattery and kennels

Mice in observation deck.

Faster, Georges, faster!

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

'Scary movie?'

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

Pampered Pets.

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

I loved Venice: So many statues to perch upon and people to feed you...

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

Hog Futures

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

I've been doing sit-ups!

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'Is the dead mouse played with before it's prepared?'

"I've never known a child like him. He's always finding things."

Working from Home

'Fowl!'

"Hello, my Baby! Hello, my Sweetie! Hello, my Ragtime Gal..."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

"I've always been a big Otis Redding fan."