Dog Lover Chuckles Gifts

"Good Lord, it wasn't a dream after all! I did shake hands with Rudy Giuliani!!"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Dog on a Shelf.

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'I'll be darn lad when your mail-order waders get here!'

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

Cattery and kennels

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"New tricks CD Rom"

"That's where I do 'my business'."

"A text? Since when did the dog stop barking when he wanted to come in?"

'I'll donate them to ANYONE but a DOG.'

Dog urinating on a work of art.

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

'I'm good with sheep. . .'

Don't even think about it!

Re-explore familiar surroundings. You may come across some fresh, new surprises!

"I chase my tail, roll in stuff, howl at the moon. What kind of life is that?"

"Same thing every year, I tell Santa I want my balls back, and I get a freaking stuffed animal."

"What?"

"The bones...have they been buried for the full 21 days?"

'I've got a dog and I'm worried that it might catch avian flu from a turkey and develop a new strain of caninebird flu that I might catch!...Have you got something I can take to stop that happening?'

Pecking order - pecking out of order.

'There's a fly in my soup.'

"Can I order off the menu?"

...wait a minute. It's not really National Hot Dog Day?!

Swine List

"It's called 'salad,' but it's really just a hunk of raw meat."

"...if my boss likes what he sees in here, you’ll be rolling in treats."