Dog Lover's Chuckle Gifts

'I ate a lot of homework.'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Shake! Good Dog."

Dog on a Shelf.

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

"So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse..."

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

'Oh goody, chunky soup!'

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

"You say: It's nothing more than jealousy inspired backstabbing. I say: It's the fourth report of butt-sniffing I've had this week."

'I'll be darn lad when your mail-order waders get here!'

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"New tricks CD Rom"

'Tell me this isn't celery.'

"I promise I won’t get upset. Just tell me why you chewed up her Chanel pumps."

"A text? Since when did the dog stop barking when he wanted to come in?"

'It's a shaggy dog storey.'

Dog urinating on a work of art.

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

'I'll donate them to ANYONE but a DOG.'

Don't even think about it!

'I've got a dog and I'm worried that it might catch avian flu from a turkey and develop a new strain of caninebird flu that I might catch!...Have you got something I can take to stop that happening?'