Dog Lover's Giggle Gifts

'It's disgusting! He just sits and licks his balls all day.'

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

The Electricians Giraffe Aid

'I'll be darn lad when your mail-order waders get here!'

"You've done it, Martin - you've taught him to smile!"

Cattery and kennels

'Noah's wife is allergic to cats.'

"A text? Since when did the dog stop barking when he wanted to come in?"

'I'll donate them to ANYONE but a DOG.'

Dog urinating on a work of art.

'I'm good with sheep. . .'

"Yeah, I wasn't thinking. I should have rented a tandem bike for this quest."

"What?"

'There's a fly in my soup.'

"Seriously? You do not look like a William Arthur Huffington the Third to me! Methink this is a fake pedigree..."

"Can I order off the menu?"

"...if my boss likes what he sees in here, you’ll be rolling in treats."

"Sad, isn't it? And he won't admit he has a problem."

"Wow, you're right. That is a serious flea infestation!"

"Do we have an exit strategy?"

"Oh, thank goodness! My food dish wasn't stolen. It was just being washed and refilled. Nevermind, officer."

"Good Lord, it wasn't a dream after all! I did shake hands with Rudy Giuliani!!"

'I ate a lot of homework.'

Post office with 'Most Wanted' dog posters.

'He must be the next-of-Tin.'

'Wow, it's like he's not even moving his lips!'

'The sonar finds underwater structure. You watch out for surface structure.'

"I hate tailgaters..."

'Long way down huh? Just thinking about it makes me queasy...Course if I knew there were some sugar cubes waiting for me back at the ranch, that might help settle me down.'

What are you going to do about it,Fred? It's your food.

'There's a fabled place up north called,'Everglades', that's surrounded by a zillion yappy dogs.'