Dog Lover's Giggle Pillows

'It's disgusting! He just sits and licks his balls all day.'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

The Electricians Giraffe Aid

'Noah's wife is allergic to cats.'

Cattery and kennels

'I'll be darn lad when your mail-order waders get here!'

"You've done it, Martin - you've taught him to smile!"

"A text? Since when did the dog stop barking when he wanted to come in?"

'I'm good with sheep. . .'

'I'll donate them to ANYONE but a DOG.'

Dog urinating on a work of art.

"What?"

"Yeah, I wasn't thinking. I should have rented a tandem bike for this quest."

"Seriously? You do not look like a William Arthur Huffington the Third to me! Methink this is a fake pedigree..."

"...if my boss likes what he sees in here, you’ll be rolling in treats."

'There's a fly in my soup.'

"Can I order off the menu?"

"Sad, isn't it? And he won't admit he has a problem."

"Do we have an exit strategy?"

"Oh, thank goodness! My food dish wasn't stolen. It was just being washed and refilled. Nevermind, officer."

"Wow, you're right. That is a serious flea infestation!"

"Good Lord, it wasn't a dream after all! I did shake hands with Rudy Giuliani!!"

'I ate a lot of homework.'

"I hate tailgaters..."

'He must be the next-of-Tin.'

Post office with 'Most Wanted' dog posters.

'The sonar finds underwater structure. You watch out for surface structure.'

'Long way down huh? Just thinking about it makes me queasy...Course if I knew there were some sugar cubes waiting for me back at the ranch, that might help settle me down.'

'There's a fabled place up north called,'Everglades', that's surrounded by a zillion yappy dogs.'

What are you going to do about it,Fred? It's your food.

'Owned by a little old lady?... That explains all the kitty litter.'