Dog Lover Laughs Pillows

"A text? Since when did the dog stop barking when he wanted to come in?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

A Good Batch.

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"Pick me!"

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

"Quick, start the car!"

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Tommy!"

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"