Dog Lover Hilarity Pillows

"Oh, thank goodness! My food dish wasn't stolen. It was just being washed and refilled. Nevermind, officer."

'The sonar finds underwater structure. You watch out for surface structure.'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"I'm working from home today."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Dog in love

Dog on a Shelf.

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Balloon dog training

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

"Get a life."

"I'm running late for totally dignified reasons."

Prodigy - Woofgang Amadeus Mozart.

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

"The love is unconditional after you agree to the terms and conditions."

The bad news is, Fluffy ate the squeaker out of her toy. The good news is, it's going to sound hilarious coming out.

'Oh goody, chunky soup!'

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"New tricks CD Rom"

'That's the worst case of fleas I've ever seen...!'

"And have various, random strangers scratch behind your ears four times daily."

"Don't make me beg."

Dogs playing strip poker.

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

Dog urinating on a work of art.

'For God's sake Duke...look noble!'

'I'll donate them to ANYONE but a DOG.'

"A text? Since when did the dog stop barking when he wanted to come in?"