Dog Owner Laughs Gifts

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Bad dog!"

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"Here he comes! Don't move."

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

When Pugs dream.

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

Bad Dog

"Tonight I'm going to bury this sucker so far underground he'll never find it."

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

Cat Show - Sheds Most

The Haunted Dog House

'No, no that's not what I mean by trim the motor!'

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

'Well, it wasn't me.'

"I never liked dogs in any of my previous lives either."

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

'I'll donate them to ANYONE but a DOG.'

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"