Dog Owner Laughs Pillows

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Bad dog!"

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Here he comes! Don't move."

When Pugs dream.

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"Tonight I'm going to bury this sucker so far underground he'll never find it."

'No, no that's not what I mean by trim the motor!'

Bad Dog

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

Cat Show - Sheds Most

The Haunted Dog House

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

"I never liked dogs in any of my previous lives either."

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

Crufts "If you can read this you are too close"

'Do you extract teeth?'

"Goddam Dogs."