Pet Owner Chuckler Pillows

"If she can find all the bones she's buried, she's my next investment counselor."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

When Pugs dream.

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

Cat Show - Sheds Most

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

"Guess what I learned in band class today?"

Don't forget to feed the python...

"Leave the toilet."

"That's where I do 'my business'."

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

Will act like an idiot for food.

'I'm good with sheep. . .'

"'I'm a good dog, Mama, I'll bring you your daily news. I'm a good dog, Mama, I don't chew my master's shoes. But there's one thing life has learnt me - Even good dogs get the blues.' Blow some sweet harp for me, Lucky."

'Sorry, they don't eat homework.'

Cat looking up fish recipes.

Re-explore familiar surroundings. You may come across some fresh, new surprises!

'Remember, the best time to walk on it is just after they've washed it.'

"I don't care if you have a heavy date...I'll thank you to stay out of my aftershave!"

"Pardon me, cat. I know we're not on the best of terms. But while you're at it, perhaps you could assist me with one small task..."

'What's my super power compared to you ...everything.'

"I keep getting into a flap."

101 uses of a dead cat: cigarette dispenser

"Yeah, I wouldn't be too concerned about how stupid that cone looks."

'Now what?'

'That is the laziest way to walk a dog I have ever seen.'