Pet Owner Jokes Pillows

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Cat at Surprise Party.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

'Yes I can talk, can you fly?'

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

Parrot annoying dog.

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

When Pugs dream.

Polly want a cracker?

Cat Show - Sheds Most

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

Bad Dog

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

'Let's see what's going on in the mouse house.'

'No, no that's not what I mean by trim the motor!'

"Let's see, who had the canary?"