Pet Owner Jokes Pillows

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Cat at Surprise Party.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

When Pugs dream.

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

"He looks like a cheeseburger."

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

'Yes I can talk, can you fly?'

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

Parrot annoying dog.

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Here he comes! Don't move."

Polly want a cracker?

Bad Dog

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

Cat Show - Sheds Most

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

'Let's see what's going on in the mouse house.'

"Let's see, who had the canary?"