Pet Parent Laughs Pillows

I wonder what fiendish plan those two morons are plotting aginst me...

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"You stop it, now!"

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"Is our owner hot?"

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

"Quick, act casual."

'Pet, we've got to talk.'

'Tell you what. Let's corner a cat and play 'good dog - bad dog'.'

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory?'

Cat looking up fish recipes.

Mouse guillotining cats paws which come through his mouse hole

'The fire brigade are on the way. But in the meantime, I'm totally posting this online.'

"If she can find all the bones she's buried, she's my next investment counselor."

"Honey! The puppy just placed a new water element on the floor. Do you want me to clean it up or just balance the Feng Shui with a fire element?"

101 uses of a dead cat: wind vane.

'Of course I never take you out - I can't see you wanting to cock your leg in the park!'

'Now what?'

'Yes, I did watch three pay-per-view movies while you were gone. Just how long did you expect a ball of yarn to entertain me?'

"Are you trying to get me nicked."

Bad cat - Credit Card.