Animal Anecdoter Gifts

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Licensed Therapist

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'The Buck Stops Here.'

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

Funky Facts: Cats

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

Penguin

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Various Birds of Pray.

The Bear Fax.

Shop for cats

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."

"In lieu of barking, he recorded a sweet diss track about you."

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

Call Center.

'I don't know why she says I didn't spend enough time looking for an interesting topic. Aardvarks are interesting.'

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

Warbling on the First Date

'Of course I look silly. My psychiatrist told me to come out of my shell!