Animal Anecdoter T-Shirts

'No kidding! I was in that David Attenborough documentary too...'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Licensed Therapist

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

'The Buck Stops Here.'

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

Funky Facts: Cats

Penguin

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

Various Birds of Pray.

The Bear Fax.

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"In lieu of barking, he recorded a sweet diss track about you."

Shop for cats

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."

'I don't know why she says I didn't spend enough time looking for an interesting topic. Aardvarks are interesting.'

Call Center.

'Of course I look silly. My psychiatrist told me to come out of my shell!

Warbling on the First Date

Select a song: Another Dog Barking. Lots of Other Dogs Barking. Howling. Siren. Doorbell. Dog Karaoke.