Meeting Anecdotist Gifts

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"This is what I took away from the meeting."

"It's not backstabbing if I tell our boss how lame you are while you're sitting here, is it?"

"Of course I attend the meetings but I'm more of a lurker,"

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."

"I've been window-shopping..."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

Newton discovers surrealism

". . . and then I realize everybody in the room has their phones set to 'ignore.'"

Call Center.

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

Margaret Cavendish

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

Good plan, but where do I feature? You're the guy that signs approval.

'Let's make this a short meeting. I know we all have expensive homes to go to.'

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

With the exception of the cold coffee and poor selection of donuts, I think the meeting went well.

'Take us out to the ball game, take us out with the crowd, buy us some peanuts and crackerjacks, we don't care if never get back...'

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

'I am stunned by the sophistication of our consumer research.'

'Five Yeas and I say no... The 'I's have it.'

'Very well, then - If there's no more 'old gossip', let's move on to 'new gossip'.'

"This company lacks leadership... We need to think about the possibility of setting up a policy group to look at the option of convening a focus group to have a bit of a chat about what we might do!"