Meeting Anecdotist Pillows

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"This is what I took away from the meeting."

"It's not backstabbing if I tell our boss how lame you are while you're sitting here, is it?"

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

'Right, moving on to the housekeeping...'

"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Of course I attend the meetings but I'm more of a lurker,"

"I've been window-shopping..."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

Call Center.

Newton discovers surrealism

". . . and then I realize everybody in the room has their phones set to 'ignore.'"

Margaret Cavendish

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

Good plan, but where do I feature? You're the guy that signs approval.

'Let's make this a short meeting. I know we all have expensive homes to go to.'

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

With the exception of the cold coffee and poor selection of donuts, I think the meeting went well.

'Take us out to the ball game, take us out with the crowd, buy us some peanuts and crackerjacks, we don't care if never get back...'

'I am stunned by the sophistication of our consumer research.'

'Five Yeas and I say no... The 'I's have it.'

'Very well, then - If there's no more 'old gossip', let's move on to 'new gossip'.'