Angelic Fundraiser Gifts

Angel investor.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

Angel playing music

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Ok, ok, last page.

Damn defibrillators.

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Supply was out of harps.

"Relax, the vicar's surrounded the place with mouse traps."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'Dear, it's called a collection plate, not a tip jar.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

'Thanks for the thought but we can't accept lottery tickets.'

Death of the pope.

Movie Angel

"I get great reception this way."

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'

'I see my wife made it in.'

"He's the life and body of the party"

Basketball Hoop on the Suggestion Box

"He's my best friend – 74, bald, looks like a fat Sid Caesar."

"No prizes for guessing who's been sucking up to the boss!"