Ancient Warrior Aficionado T-Shirts

That was the last of the Celtic villages. From now on, it's the lecture circuit.

101 uses of a dead cat: helmet

Those Were The Days

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

'Honey, I'm Rome!'

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

'Barbarians at the gate? That's fine, I fully support social mobility.'

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

'This stuff is a snap for me. I used to be a pharmacist.'

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

'You're too aggressive.'

"Aha! - Proof that this is definitely an iron-age site..."

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

Mummies for Dummies

Atlas Explained.

First aid and sculpture

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

'What Caesar doesn't understand is that all politics is local!'

'Oh no! not 100,000 Persians again! How many of us?'

'All I'm saying is that if we don't want to be invaded, we'd be better off with weapons of mass destruction.'

"This coin must be 2,000 years old. Try not to put this one in a pop machine."

'It was built by the ancients as a calendar. We know because each pillar has a kitten doing something really cute carved on it!'

'You know, I'm about to stop caring whether they're here legally or not!'

'Razed any good cities lately?'

National Pottery Live

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

Man looking at 2 stone godesses, one with many arms, one with many breasts.

"Shoo!"

Hippocrates

Archaeologists

'They've left a peace offering, the cowards.'