Ancient Warrior Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Would you say this is a must-win?"

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

Hat, Trident, Net...

"Ha! You missed!"

"Look sharp, Son. Your Mother's family just showed up."

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

"Shoo!"

Ancient Greek Downsizing

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Romans.

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

'Anti-Graffito' worker about to erase hieroglyphics.

'Honey, I'm Rome!'

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

'Barbarians at the gate? That's fine, I fully support social mobility.'

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"Greece! Greece! Greece! Every day it's the same! Just the constant Greece!"

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

410 BC: The Roman empire begins its slide into decadence.

'You're too aggressive.'

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

"The horse is nice, but we could really use the blender."

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

Mummies for Dummies

Hypatia

I'm tired of working, Randy. One of my ancestors put it best. It was the early days of the Roman republic. Randius Taylorus Maximus was a soldier in the Roman phalanx. That bored him to death. All the clumsy formations, all the cumbersome gear, all the losing ... so he deserted and joined up with the Spartans. That's where he stopped "working" for a living, and got to do what he loved. He got to oil up and go into battle half-naked, with nothing but his shield, his sword and his loincloth. Years

"Go with Hannibal if you must."

'Oh no! not 100,000 Persians again! How many of us?'

Book from the Library of Alexandria. Woman says: 'Have you seen how overdue this book is?'

Chariot driver with a 'My Child is a Homer Student' bumper sticker.

'All I'm saying is that if we don't want to be invaded, we'd be better off with weapons of mass destruction.'

'Razed any good cities lately?'